Duty
1. Supposing the Situation
After the release of "LOVEppears" on Nov.10 1999, she hadn't released new songs for about five months. I think it was a period for her, who had kept on writing lyrics and making new songs since the debut, to take a rest for the first time. (And maybe for once up to the present.) What was she thinking about in the period? Let us pick up the part from a magazine article.
I hadn't read magazines with so much care until the time, just taking over several pages in make-up times. But, reading many magazines in the period for about half a year, I knew what was "Hamasaki Ayumi" like. It was a little different from the image I thought of. ... Ayu thought I was underdtood properly, but "Hamasaki Ayumi" in the magazines looked a little different to me. But I didn't think then, "Why don't you understand me?" Rather than that, I was much vexed at myself, as I had thought by myself I would be understood as this or looked as that. As it was no one else but I who had made such situation, and done work after work without confirming it. ("CD Data" May 5 2000)
What were the titles of magazine articles in those days? "The fashion leader", "The charisma of senior high school girls", "The strangeness of Ayu phenomenon", or something like that? I feel it's just like her that she didn't blame the writers of the articles but blamed herself. But I feel concerned about her at the same time, because I know many magazine writers are just writing their random thoughts with prejudice. (The TV programs of commercial broadcasting stations are still on a lower level.) But, as I don't know in fact at which points she thought to be misunderstood, I will stop my words.
Anyhow, taking a rest and looking around in the period, she became much conscious of the separation of her public image from her in reality, or, using her words, "Hamasaki Ayumi" from "Ayu". I suppose that when she started preparing the domestic concert tour from April to August 2000, she had a wish of communicating herself more to the audience. And the two songs, "Duty " and "SURREAL" were written after the tour, as her answer to the problem.
But, before that, she had a more private problem to be solved. It was how she should face the hard situation expressed and revealed by the four songs of "A", after reconsidering to continue singing. Then she planned and wrote what is called "The Trilogy", which has a sense of the continuation of "A", or the solution of "A". She said the theme of "The Trilogy" was "despair", but I think the word is suitable for that of "A" rather than it. (It's not strange, looking psycologically. As a person doesn't want to recognize such emotions as suffering or despair much, he commonly recognizes them a little time later. And we should take it into account that she felt so much mental pressure at that time just before her first standard concerts.) I think "the passage of time" is more suitable for the theme of "The Trilogy" than "despair".
It's usual we don't use "anata" or "kimi" to call to ourselves in writing lyrics, isn't it? But this time, it's like Hamasaki Ayumi after having certain experiences has written to Ayu.("Zappy" June 2000)
In "The Trilogy", too, "Hamasaki Ayumi" and "Ayu" appear. And according to her talks in this article, we see that the first person is "Hamasaki Ayumi" and the second person is "Ayu". But they are not used in the same sense as in "Duty " and "SURREAL". "Hamasaki Ayumi" is calling to "Ayu" in all the songs, but I would like you to notice that "Ayu" at the present is called to in "Duty" and "SURREAL", while "Ayu" in the past is called to in "The Trilogy". In other words, it's no problem to say that she is calling to herself in the past in "The Trilogy". But she used the words, "Hamasaki Ayumi" and "Ayu" relating to "The Trilogy", too, which I think confused the listners very much. (It would be mainly caused by this that this album is often called very difficult or too abstruct.)
We must draw a line between "The Trilogy" and "Duty""SURREAL", as they were made in different periods, with different motives and purposes. And, as to "The Trilogy", I'd like to interprete the lyrics with the least possible use of "Hamasaki Ayumi" and "Ayu".
2. "vogue"
"vogue" is the song in which she, standing at the present, is looking back upon her past and thinking of her future. She refers to the past firstly, as follows.
I have found myself
In a place so far away
After running a long way
But it never be
A regret
I am here now because
You were there at that time ("vogue")
It would be the detailed restate of the following phrase of "Trauma".
Time is sometimes so cruel
But the present is made by the cruelty ("Trauma")
It was just two years since her debut around the time. She had kept running, made every effort to succeed as a singer, and reached the mark she had set for herself. But at the same time, she had to experience sufferings and discouragements which she had never imagined at her debut. --"I had changed a lot, and even if I wish to return to myself at that time, it is impossible." -- In the period when a person change a lot internally and externally (I think it would be in adolescence to many people), he would often have such a thought. And I think it's a natural motion of mind then, not an abstract thinking, that he feels like calling to himself in the past. But I'd like to add one thing that if he has been idling his time away, he would surely regret looking back upon his past. She could say definately in the lyrics that she never regret, just because she had made every effort since the debut and done as far as she could in each situation.
In this way, she could have both negative and positive thought about her past. But, as to her future, she has nothing but negative presentiment.
I am proud of you
Now I am in bloom beautifully
But the flowers are to fall
After this, just quietly ("vogue")
She felt herself at a deadlock and was going to quit when making the maxi-single "A". I think the experiences at that time cast a shadow upon this phrase. --" Placed in the same situation again, I will never be able to endure." -- But, even without such inner factors, the popularity may fall one day of a sudden in the show business world full of ups and downs. (She would have seen such examples several times for two years.) An ominous presentiment that she herself might be in the prime, too.
Pessimistic as it is, I think this is the lyrics which no one but she at the time could write, and expresses her thoughts and feelings of those days naturally and concisely. (One regrettable thing is that there seems to be a small grammatical mistake. We can say "o hokoru" or "ga sakihokoru", but I think we can't say "o sakihokoru".)
3."Far away"
"Far away" is the song in which she lay emphasis on the past. I wrote "she could have both negative and positive thoughts about her past" a little time ago. Telling more simply, there were things she lost and there were things she gained in the passage of time. It's right as a whole, but in this song, she is looking back upon the biggest thing of all that was lost, which was love.
Everyone calls this love as a transit station
But for the two, it was the station both starting and terminal
Wasn't it? ("Far away")
I think this just corresponds to the following phrase of "End roll"
If I had ever
Said something
It should not have been the starting
With the ending being at sight ("End roll")
And, looking at the CD jacket, you will notice the left half of the picture is torn off. She told of it as "Only Ayu of the picture in which Ayu is on one side and someone is on the other side". ("CD Data" June 5 2000). I think it clear that the "someone" was her lover then.
But, according to the person rule I had written before, "I" am "Hamasaki Ayumi" and "you" are "Ayu", then isn't it unnatural that she and she were lovers? -- Certainly unnatural. And I think there is only one interpretation to settle the difficulty. It's to interprete "futari (the two)" as "you and the lover", and not as "you and me". (I think when she uses the word "lover", it is not a metaphor of something else, but is "lover" to the letter, which applies to some other songs of hers, too.)
But, then, the relation of the persons in this song becomes so complicated. And I also feel it a little unnatural that she hopes herself to "be newly reborn". I think that maybe because of the reasons, she narrated about this theme again in "ever free".
4. "SEASONS" and "ever free"
"SEASONS" is the song in which she lays emphasis on the future. She is singing with a thought that even if her life as a singer isn't so long, she will leave her future to the destiny, not negating the ominous presentiment of "vogue", but including it instead. But, in the first half of it, she looks back on her past, too. I can't fix my supposition whether "that time" was her senior high school days or the period when she stopped working as an actress. But, anyhow, it was certainly some period before her debut, and it can be said that she seizes the passage of time with the longer span in this song than in the other two songs.
The border line between the dream and the reality
Which was vague, has become thick ("SEASONS")
A concise and accurate phrase just like her.
By the way, was there any precedent for the idea carried out in the CD jacket of "The Trilogy"? I think this is a very excellent idea, and if it was her own with no precedent, I really admire it. (I think the good sense of her lyrics and song titles, her CD jackets, her promotion videos, her fashion have one root, her excellent sense of beauty.) But, it's difficult to say that the CD jacket and the promotion video of "SEASONS" are based on its lyrics. They are in fact based on that of "ever free", the song written after it.
It was a very clear day
I put a white flower softly
By the gentle smiling face ("ever free")
"ever free" was written in order to supplement "The Trilogy", and she is calling to herself in the past in this song, too. But she doesn't hope herself to be newly reborn any more in it. Instead, she is seeing off herself of that time starting on a journey to a place far, far away. Some people may think it exaggerated that she set up a scene of a funeral, but I don't think so. Because it means how important the love was for her then, and I suppose she took leave of her adolescence finally in this song. Let us put in order the relation of "The Trilogy" and "ever free".
the past ――→ "Far away" ―――→ "ever free"
"vogue" revise revise again
the future ――→ "SEASONS"
The three songs certainly had a feeling of despair in common. But I found out "the last fort" by writing and singing "ever free". And then, all the songs were saved and shone. ("CD Data" May 5 2000)
The understandable mental process, I think.
5. "Duty"
In August 2000, the large-scaled domestic concert tour ended. She seemed to get the feelings of fulfilment and uplift in the tour, but, just after that, she came to find several problems to be solved, as follows.
① The enlargement of the image of "Hamasaki Ayumi", and the increase of her social power of influence. She told then that she was shocked by the fact that every time jevinile crimes were treated on TV, her songs were played at the back.
② The pressing problem of what she should do then and how she should write lyrics. As I suppose she had generally finished narrating her personal affairs by writing "The Trilogy" and "ever free".
③ How she should keep relationship with her fans. She was called the fashion leader before she knew, and there appeared a lot of girls copying her fashion. Also, she told she was thinking over whether she had to save others or not, as she had received many fan letters telling that they had been saved by her songs.
I suppose that maybe because she perceived all such problems at the same time after the tour, she was depressed to the bottom and such a desperate lyrics as "End of the World" was written. (It seems her spirits go up and down quite sharply.) But she recovered herself step by step, and tried to solve the problems one by one. I think the songs made in the process are "Duty", "SURREAL" and "AUDIENCE". Let us look in order.
In order to understand the lyrics of "Duty", we need to clarify what "it" stands for. I think "it" is the spiritual value a person feels to be important, such as, love, friendship, freedom, happiness, fulfilment, and the like. It can't be restricted as one, because it depends on who wants and when wants, so she would use the word "it". And that "it" is not in the future but in the past and everyone has "it" means that everyone knows "it" by experiencing "it" in the past. Is this thought right? -- I think it's almost right.
Let me take an example of a person who had no close friend after his birth but could have a true friend at the age of twenty at last. He didn't know friendship for twenty years? Yes, he did. Because he imaged friendship, experienced it in his mind, had been seeking for it, and he could notice when they met that this was the person important for him and he had been seeking for. Strictly speaking, there might be the case that a person comes across something he has never imagined, and it has become important for him since then. But such cases are very rare. So, as our daily mental atittude, we should seek in our actual life for the things we already know and think to be important. (But this is almost a philosophic thought, and I think the person who hits upon such a thought is very rare.)
Speaking it based on her situation at that time, it's supposed that she was in mental confusion not knowing what to do then, but she was confirming and persuading herself that the answer would be inside her, not outside. But this songs leaves us the impression that she is at a standstill feeling anxious about the future rather than positive. In other words, this song is filled up with pessimistic feelings, closely like "vogue".
6. "SURREAL" and "AUDIENCE"
As to "SURREAL", Setsuka-san, administrator of the web-site "Lovers' Rings", has already written a close review with the title "The fusion of 'Ayu' and 'Hamasaki Ayumi'". As I'm almost of the same opinion, I think I don't have to write a similar review here. But I have to say one thing. Is it all right to use the word, "the fusion"? I image that two things apart unite in one by the word, but she has kept using properly "Ayu" and "Hamasaki Ayumi" after the release of this album, too. I think using some other word such as "the equalization" would be better to express that both "Ayu" and "Hamasaki Ayumi" have come to have their own personalities and influenced each other.
In the place which does not exist
I am standing as I am
Please be as you are
I wish you not to change ("SURREAL")
A simple and clear phrase just like her. And I was impressed by the promotion vidieo, too, as the admirable visualization of this lyrics. (I hear she had the idea of acting a leopard when creating the second album already. I think it was very good as a result that she didn't use the idea then and carried it over.)
But, even in "SURREAL", she doesn't answer clearly the problem of ① and ② I had written before. What is expressed here is the resolution of "choosing only what she likes", the principle confirmation of "one must not shut one's senses", and the determination of taking social responsibility as "Hamasaki Ayumi". But it's not expressed where "Hamasaki Ayumi" bearing social responsibility is going for and what activities she is going to do. In the interview of "ROCKIN' ON JAPAN", she looked back on this album, saying "I feel I was much reserved.
I say, everything. Music, words, my vocal ... Because I was puzzled. I feel it was made in great perplexity. ("ROCKIN' ON JAPAN")
Aside from music and vocal, I suppose the lyrics she felt to be reserved and made in perplexity would be especially "Duty" and "SURREAL". (Though these two lyrics are very excellent, of course.) So, what kind of lyrics did she want to write and what kind of song did she want to sing in her mind then? -- I think the answer is her recent single songs released after this album.
As to the problem ③, on the other hand, she worked out the answer easily.
I do not mean to
Walk ahead of the others
But it does not mean
I follow behind someone ("AUDIENCE")
As she is a person who makes much of personality, she hopes her fans to live like themselves, too, developing their personalities. It would be quite strange if she should say the words like "Follow me, everyone! " (I think anyone who says like this easily is not trustworthy.) It seems she didn't have to spend much time in solving this problem, with her thinking and judging abilites, as well as that of positive and negative before. Still I suppose she had to carry over the question whether she should save others, not finding the answer.
7. Change of Music Change of Voice
Excellent melodies and elaborate arrangements -- this album reaches high musical level as well as the second album. But the characteristics of the arrangements are rather different. There were not a few songs in the second album in which the strong, hard beat was leading her singings, while we cannot find such songs in this album except "AUDIENCE". Computer programming sounds were marked in the second album, while live sounds of acoustic piano, acoustic guitar, etc. are marked in this album. Also, the frequent use of back chorus and the introduction of synthesizer strings have made the sounds thicker. It can be said that this album is completed rather calmly and gravely as a whole, compared to the second album distinctive of speed and pressure.
But, what has changed most may be her voice. The clear, straight high tone voice, which was the first characteristic before, has disappeared, and her singing voice has become a little deeper and husky. Not as same as her talking voice, but it has changed to be, so to speak, the middle voice between the talking voice and the former singing voice. How should we take this change? -- I've seen some writings in fan sites yearning for the former singing voice. I feel it a little regrettable, too, but I think it was enevitable to some extent and would happen sooner or later, considering the change of her lyrics and mind.
Because the former singing voice was suitable for the first album indeed, but a little thin and delicate to bear the suffering and despair expressed in the second album. (I don't mean to say the value of the second album falls. Instead, because of this characteristic, the second album gives more painful impression to the listners.) And it's still more unsuitable for singing the songs in this album, especially "Duty" and "SURREAL". The change of her singing voice might be due to her experiencing the concert tour actually and directly, but it can be supposed there was her own inner demand behind for the voice stronger and able to carry the weight. I think that in this album, she has taken leave of her adolescence as to the singing voice, too.
One thing I forgot to write. The dramatic development in "SURREAL" and "Key" is the musical attempt which has appeared for the first time in this album, and may give new possibility to her musical activities in the future. Most of the Japanese singers including her take it for granted now that an album is made by gathering ten-odd songs of four or five minutes, but such a style is not fixed in fact. As music is naturally free, it's possible to make a longer song of ten, fifteen minutes, if not to be a single, or to make narrative development linking songs by instrumental. (Or, even possible to make what is called a concept album, more large-scaled, completed as a whole under one concept.) There are so many excellent composers and arrangers around her that it's not difficult if she cooperates with them. Though it's a story if she has a mind of challenging such things in the future.
8. Total Estimation
This album impresses constitutive beauty most of the three albums. It's supposed that she first placed "The Trilogy", the earlest songs, and arranged the other songs among them to be in harmony. So the whole album has the development of "The Trilogy", too, in which she is dropping her eyes at first but looking up little by little. From "starting over" to "SURREAL" placed in the center, in minor key, and after that, in major key. (Though "Key" modulates to minor key in the middle.) It's surprising that in "Duty" (the first song of the first half) and "AUDIENCE" (the first song of the latter half), the opposite atmospheres are produced in their introductions by the same sound form (La-Si-Do-Re). (Was it intended or accidentally? I think of the wonder of music.) And "Duty" is also in close relation to the closing song "Key", with grave arrangement using strings in common. The last song "girlish" is just like appendix, but a pleasant song with fine male back chorus.
On the other hand, the defect of this album is the difficulty in judging the persons. Her lyrics are quite easy to understand, but only the relation of the persons is sometimes difficult. Still in the first and second album, we can almost imagine by listening to her songs again and again, but how about the songs in this album, especially "The Trilogy", "Duty" and "SURREAL"? Who is "watashi" "boku" (I) "kimi" "anata" (you) in these songs? -- I read the articles of magazines, watched the promotion videos, and could have a convincing conclusion at last, but without such materials, I couldn't have interpreted maybe. (As would be the same to many people.) And I think it should be the defect of the lyrics that we can't interprete without the help of other materials. But I don't have a bright idea instead, for these lyrics are all written well and seems to have almost no room for change. (The only idea I hit on is just to add messages to the lyrics leaflet like the first album and to hint at the answer.)
However, considering this defect, still I think this album reaches very high level. It's quite rare that most of the songs in the album are great, as was the same with the second album. And I think it's, how do I say, quite marvelous that she had created these three albums by that time, when she was nineteen, twenty and twenty-one.
Still | Move -- Still
Lastly, I've tried to simplify the characteristics and the relation of the three albums to the limit. (As might be impolite being too simple.) And, as far as listening to her recent singles, it's quite likely that the next album will be the "move" album again separated from the third album. Why has she made her way to rock, has come to write melodies for herself and lyrics with strong messages? ... There are not a few intersting features in her recent movement, but I will think about them after the release of her new album.
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