All Night Nippon
with the subtitle of "Hamasaki Ayumi is not stupid," broadcasted on Dec. 28 1998
"So annoying, Ayu ! I can't stand any more. What is Hamasaki Ayumi? When she appeared as the partner of Kawai Gamon-kun in the TBS drama 'Miseinen' and got a reputation of being cute, I remember she introduced herself as ' I'm very boyish indeed and have many male friends. My true character is quite different from my roll characters.' or ' I'm of a frank disposition and liked by girls.' in every magazine. But she disappeared and made a CD debut as a mysterious girl after a certain interval and talks as 'Ayu nee' ! What is it as 'Ayu nee' ! How is she disciplined in her talent office ! Dear editorial ladies, don't you think she is too elated? From Toshishita Killer-san at Suginami-ku, Tokyo, to TV Bros magazine."
Ah, I think there are perhaps many who think as this. I myself am often told so by some friends of mine. But I don't have a mind of pretending so. Ayu is shy and such way of talking is in reaction to it. Though I sometimes hear that many people say I'm like Tomo-chan (Kahara Tomomi). Well, aside from the topic, which is not so important, is Ayu really stupid? Well, it would be useless to tell much about it here. Ayu has not thought I'm stupid nor I'm clever, and is now thinking that it's OK that those who listen to this radio or Ayu's songs will decide it after all. As I, Hamasaki Ayumi is going to talk much about the real Ayu openly for two hours in this live program tonight, you the listners, please inform me of your impressions later. And if some friends of yours are not listening to this program, please call and tell it to them at once. OK. Let's go ! The title call. Hamasaki Auimi's "All Night Nippon" ! Sorry for having made so many mistakes in pronounciation on the very starting. I was so strained. Excuse me. So, good evening. I'm Hamasaki Ayumi. I'd like to introduce myself first. I have released five single CDs since my debut. I'm a singer and write lyrics, too. Twenty years old, but I call myself "Ayu" and not "watashi". This has been my custom since I reached the age of reason. I'm now talking in a radio program in this way, but so much strained indeed. Maybe the producer sitting next to me is more strained, but Ayu is much strained, too. Er, I'm so afraid of strangers and so shy against my appearance. Sorry. I'm like this. But maybe you have certain impressions on me after watching me on TV or so. Kindly inform them to me by fax. As I've said before, Hamasaki Ayumi is going to talk much about the real Ayu openly for two hours in this live program tonight. You listners, please send me fax messages to let me know how you have thought about Ayu. Grievance, complaint, doubt, question, police question, love confession, my voice is similar to that of your missed sister, whatever message is OK. Anything you have thought about while listening to this program is OK. Don't hesitate to send me fax messages ! And those who want to tell something directly to Hamasaki Ayumi are also welcome. Complaint or anything is OK. Please write your phone number then. And Ayu will phone you. The fax number is Tokyo 03-5500-XXXX. As it's late at night now, please be careful for not pushing a wrong number. Well, now, Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". This program is supported together by Bourbon, BVD Fujibou, Kasugai Seika, avex trax, Chuo Shuppan, Nihon Sekiyu, Kadokawa Shoten, Asahi Inryou, Gakken, KDD, Fuji Film, and broadcasted by 35 radio stations nationwide with Nippon Housou at Odaiba, Tokyo as the key station. Well, now, please listen to Ayu's debut song first from my first album, "A Song for XX", which is to be on sale on Jan 1st 1999, but has actually been on sale since Dec 26. "poker face" by Hamasaki Ayumi.
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Well, I'd like to read a fax message which has arrived very early. From Fuyumi-san as a radio name in Oomiya City, Saitama Prefecture. "Good evening. How do you do? And congratulation on your being the personality of 'All Night Nippon' for the first time ! I'm happy to listen to Ayu's voice and talking for as many as two hours. Please show us fully that Ayu is no stupid. (Laugh) I think Ayu will be a nice artist supported by boys and girls in future. No need of hurry and please keep up in your own pace ! And I have one question to Ayu. What was the most delightful incident to Ayu this year?" The delightful incident to me was, well, just around the time of my debut. It was in April this year. My debut single "poker face" you have just listened to now was released on April 8. Ayu didn't put confidence in the staff of avex and the producer around the time. But when we made a round of call at several CD shops and I saw them bowing and asking a favourable view of this new singer, Hamasaki Ayumi, Ayu, who was nineteen then, thought that there were the adults who did such a thing for me and was really about to cry. Maybe I will never forget this till the end of my life. This is the most delightful incident this year. Well, I'm pleased if you write to me whatever you think like this. The fax number is, as I say it again, Tokyo 03-5500-XXXX. As it's late at night, please be careful for not pushing the wrong phone number.
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Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon"
<Narration> Closing her eyes, she saw an yellow cassette tape with its label peeling off. A woman's narration a little theatrical and merrily sounding conversation of the animals of woods. It was perhaps some nursery tale. And when the story came near the end, she noticed there was not her mother, who had been listening to it together. Surprised at the klaxion sounded at the garden, and looking out of the window, she saw her mother watching after a man carrying a travelling bag under his arms and getting out of the door. This is her oldest memory. Hamasaki Ayumi, born in Fukuoka on October 2nd, 1978. She was a child who was so afraid of strangers and not good at communicating with others. In order to understand her, we should tell about her mother, who can be said to be her only family. Her mother was a woman living as herself before being her mother. She came to the nursery school to pick up Ayumi later than any other mothers, but younger and more showy than any other mothers. She can be said to be a selfish mother in a sense. But to her daughter, Hamasaki Ayumi, she was not mother nor a member of the family but the completely original being, "Mommy" from the first. She never cooked herself for Ayumi nor slept together with her, to say nothing of reading a nursery tale for her before sleeping, which is a quite common scenery of mother and child in every family. Ayumi says, "Mommy was always weeping. But I've never asked her why she was weeping." Hamasaki Ayumi and Mommy. They were the only family to each other, but they rejected such a bond, not knowing which began to do so first. In the life always keeping a certain distance with Mommy, she learned to live alone, learned that there are some facts better for her not to know and she must not know. By the way, she doesn't know her father's face. She has of course never asked Mommy anything about her father not at home. But she knows that the scenery she looked out of the window listening to the yellow cassette tape in her oldest memory was just at the moment of her parents' devorce, and that the man Mommy was seeing off silently was his father. After having noticed that, she listened to the story in the yellow cassette tape again and again. A woman's narration a little theatrical and merrily sounding conversation of the animals of woods. But she can't remember the story at all now, though it is certain she listened to it so many times. What indeed did Hamasaki Ayumi listen to repeatedly, pushing the button of the radio cassette tape recorder again and again with her little finger? She might be singing alone now, searching for the answer.
Well, this is the story when Ayu was a child. I wonder how everyone has listened to it. I didn't mean at all to make it dramatic. I honestly told my story to the staff here and they made the tape for this program. It sounds like a narration of a variety show on TV, doesn't it? It's said to be so, like a documentary, but it's quite ordinary to Ayu. I've always accepted it as quite ordinary and not particular that I have no father and my parents were devorced. Ayu doesn't even know my mother's age. I've not asked Mommy how old she was. I've not asked because I think she would maybe answer as "How old? I'm 25" or so. Her appearance is so showy and I'm often asked "Is she your sister?" She is living quite selfishly, and living quite freely if I use good words. I don't know whether she is forgetting or trying not to care her daughter, Ayu, but she looks like living so freely as a woman. Ayu has never felt that she is my mother for twenty years, and has always called her Mommy, Mommy. One of the reason I've called her so is Mariko is her name. Mommy didn't take much care of Ayu nor her parents. And she didn't scold me when Ayu did something very bad nor praised me when Ayu did something very good. She said nothing indeed. So I thought and understood that Ayu could do things freely, too, because she was living so. And, Ayu didn't go to school often in my junior high school days. How do you say in a common way? A girl who doesn't come to school often. A bad girl? I didn't feel myself gone so far. But one day the teacher phoned my mother to come to school, telling that Hamasaki-san didn't come to school lately and they should do something to get it better. And my mother answered, " I see. I'll come to school at once." And Ayu was waiting in the teachers' room. A while later, the phone bell of my homeroom teacher rang, and my mother said to him, "I can't go because my stomach is aching now. Sorry." and hung up the phone. (Laugh) And my homeroom teacher said to me, " I don't realize what happened to your mother. But I feel pity for you and suppose you are living hard, aren't you?" I was vexed at his words somehow. I thought "How can you say like that, not knowing my mother at all ?" But I've never got angry with my mother doing such things. It's true that the neighbours told a lot about us. For example, the woman living next door or the adults living in the same apartment as ours told their children not to keep company with me, not to be friends with me, and they had tried to make me change schools several times. But Ayu had never thought it sad. Ayu thought that if some children stopped being friends with me by their parents' words, it could not be helped. It was no sad thing to me. But, how can I say ... Ayu thought that Mommy behaved like that because she had also been living hard with her lonely love. Ayu felt as if Mommy had been telling me that she would never interfere with me, she would live freely and I should live freely, too, but that once I did something, it should be myself who was responsible for it. I understood very well the way of living of that person. Though we have seldom met nor talked together recently, I've noticed now in my age that I had learned a lot from that person in many senses. I've looked at the person as a woman, Hamasaki Mariko, for twenty years and thought I would not like to be a woman like her and would not like to make the same mistakes as hers. I've learned a lot from my mother in such senses. Sorry for my nasal voice. Honestly speaking, there are no points in her at all I like or I dislike, maybe because I've never looked at that person as a human. Well, this is the song whose title is that of my first album, too. "A Song for XX". I'd like you to insert whatever words you like to the part XX. Well, I wrote this lyrics in my own manner thinking about the person I've told you now, which some of you may understand only by listening to this song. Please listen. "A Song for XX" by Hamasaki Ayumi.
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<Voices in a city>
(A woman) Ayumi-chan? Yes, I know. She is beautiful.
(A man) Ayumi-chan is good at singing. But looks a little stupid.
(A woman) What? She is cute. Don't you think so?
(A man) I think so. But the way of talking, a little odd.
(A woman) No problem at all, because she is cute.
(A man) I say her singing voice is different from her talking voice.
(A woman) It's OK if she is good-looking.
(A man) It's true, but ...
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". (Laugh) Ayu has listened to this for the first time. It's OK if she is good-looking. Thanks so much. Is Ayu good-looking? Now I read a fax message. To Ayu, er, from Naomi-chan in Ichihara City, Chiba Prefecture. "Ayu. My situation is almost the same as Ayu. I have no mother, Mommy, if I say in Ayu's manner. I sometimes feel lonely. But I've decided to live alone, too. Now I'm getting on well with my father. But I like Nao's Mommy very much even now. I want to see my Mommy." She wants to see her mother. Well, Ayu doesn't know my father's face nor name, but is thinking in some part of my mind that it would be good if I can see him some day before I die. I think with envy that Naomi-chan has very good, natural character, talking like this. Well, this is also a number from the album. The melody and arrangement was done by Igarashi-san, a member of Every Little Thing. He wrote such a good melody for me though he was very busy that I made efforts to write the lyrics fit for it. I'd like everyone to listen. "FRIENDS II" by Hamasaki Ayumi.
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Well, another fax message has arrived and I'd like to read it. From Otome-chan in Himeji City, Hyougo Prefecture. "To Miss Hamasaki Ayumi. Good evening. Is it all right to go directly to the question? Why can you sing with such a beautiful voice, very different from your talking voice, while I have a trouble of my tone-deafness? Would you tell me how Ayu-chan is doing, such as a knack of uttering a voice?" Ayu has long been told "You have a hasky voice" since around my elementary school days, and used to dream to be told once at least "Your talking voice is very beautiful." I was often told that my talking voice was like Googoo Gummo in a comic, which I don't know well, and had a very unpleasant feeling. So if someone knows the knack of proportioning this talking voice to my singing voice, please teach it to Ayu. (Laugh) Just like this, please send me your fax messages. Grievance, complaint, doubt, question, police question, whatever message is OK. The fax number is, as I say it again, Tokyo 03-5500-XXXX. As it's late at night, please be careful for not pushing the wrong phone number.
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<Voices in a city>
(A man) Seems dull-headed.
(A woman) I see, somehow. I may not be able to keep conversation with her. I feel like that.
(A man) You can never keep conversation with that person.
(A woman) Looks like she is very severe on girls.
(The interviewer) Don't you feel that type of girl has little friends?
(A woman) Yes. (Laugh)
(The interviewer) Really?
(A woman) I feel so.
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". In this program tonight, Hamasaki Ayumi is talking much about the real Ayu instead of London Boots Ichigou-san. Er, as was written in the article of "TV Bros" I introduced at the opening, the great majority of Ayu's friends are males, which is quite obvious if looking at the address page of my handyphone. I wonder why. I feel somehow girls are groups. For example, they go to the toilet together, or when someone of the group is angry at a girl outside the group, it often happens that another girl in the group says, " I'm disgusted with her, too." I have such an image. It may be the reason why it's hard for me to keep company with them. It's much harder for me to talk with a girl than to talk with a boy. Why? I don't know the clear reason. But there is the only one exception. I've got a female friend recently. I happened to meet her at a Karaoke house half a year ago. She was quite drunk then and when Ayu was sitting in the room, she suddenly came to sit next to me and said,"Don't you like to eat avocados?"(Laugh) Ayu started to work as this soon after I had come up to Tokyo, and everyone around me had been taking good care for me. But she suddenly talked to me, "Don't you like to eat avocados?"(Laugh) It was the first experience to me and I thought "What's the girl?" But I felt somewhat curious at the same time, and attracted by her strange and natural character. I went to another restaurant together with her and ate avocado salads together as she recommended so. (Laugh) Ayu didn't like to eat avocado salads at all. I don't even like avocado, but it was like I was compelled to follow her then. The name of the girl is Natsuki, as she was born on May 26, just before the summer (natsu) comes. She is twenty-two years old, two years older than Ayu. Her family name is Toyoda. I knew it lately and thought, "Ah she has such a family name." And she also didn't seem to know my real name, Hamasaki Ayumi, thinking that the real name of Ayu is Ayu, too. She asked me for the first time the other day, "Which is the correct name of Ayu, Ayumi or Ayu?" Then I thought we are strangely alike. (Laugh) But I sometimes feel actually that she has lived two years longer than me. The first time I felt so was when I was troubled very much with my work and private life. I locked the door, pulled out the phone line, shut off the power of my handyphone, and had been home alone without going out anywhere for about three days. I heard from the staff later that everyone had got flurred then, saying "Where has Ayu gone?" But I didn't know such a fact then. I was home alone, and that at the veranda with gusts of winds blowing, thinking what I should do, what I should do, without finding the answer. Maybe it was on the third day. There was a boom sound at the entrance suddenly, and I heard a man-like woman's shouting voice, "Ayu -- ! Ayu ! Where are you?"(Laugh) Ayu couldn't guess what happened, surprised and hid at the veranda. Then she got into my apartment in her own way, breaking through the auto-locked entrance and the locked door, which I don't know how she did, and came to the veranda shouting "What are you doing?" Frightened and showing up, I found it was Natsuki. She shouted, "Do you know how much everyone is anxious about you?", seized me by the collar and made me stand up. (Laugh) She was shouting in tears, and Ayu said I was sorry in tears, too. As I said a little time ago, Ayu had never been scolded by Mommy and seldom been warned by my friends even when I did something wrong. It was really for the first time that someone seized me by the collar, made me stand up and roared at me, "What are you doing?" I was really surprised, but never felt disgusted or so. I thought strongly at that time that if Ayu had a family, it would be like this. Well, so, Natsuki has been great and important in Ayu's heart since then. I feel she is the first person who broke through the wall in Ayu's heart and I've met such a person for the first time in my life of twenty years. And I thought I'd like to write a song for her. As I'm shy and cannot say I thank her nor I'm sorry face to face. I thought I could only make a song and deliver my message. I wrote this lyrics thinking of Natsuki, and a close friend to you. Please listen. "Wishing" by Hamasaki Ayumi.
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<Voices in a city>
(A woman 1) As Hamasaki Ayumi is slow in mind, I may be tired being together.
(A woman 2) Ah, I feel so.
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon." Er, in tonight's "All Night Nippon", instead of London Boots Nigou-san, I, Hamasaki Ayumi is talking about the real Ayu. (Laugh) My first album "A Song for XX" is to be released on Jan 1st, but is already sold in CD shops in fact. Er, is everyone tired talking with Ayu? Are you tired? (Laugh) Well, I think Natsuki doesn't get tired. Maybe because we are quite similar in living our lives. We are all similar in the way of talking, the tone of voices and the way of singing. I think she doesn't like to be a pair with me (laugh), but really similar. So the person quite different from me might be tired. Well, I welcome you listeners will write how you feel about me, Hamasaki Ayumi, and send me fax messages tonight. Now I'd like to introduce this message. From Nidaime Ishi-san. "Which is important to Hamasaki-san, love for someone of the other sex and freiendship for someone of your own sex?" Erm, how do I say? Ayu thinks they should not be compared. Supposing there is someone of the other sex you love very much and there is another of your own sex you like very much, who I think can be of the other sex, I think you should not compare the two persons. Both are primary to Ayu and cannot be compared. And if the person say, for example, "Which is important to you, me and the girl?", Ayu think I would stop keeping company with him, as he says such silly words. Ayu thinks we don't need to compare them. Well, Ayu is twenty years old now, and if I say I love nobody, it will be a lie, and there is one important person to me. I think Ayu can write lyrics because I want to be like the person and that I can be here now because the person was there. Those are maybe the reason why. I don't know whether you may take it as my jealousy or just the fact. But if one of my male friends, whom Ayu has many, confess his love for me, I will feel it somewhat different. Ayu regards friends are friends, whether male or female. The important person will always be one, maybe. And it's really nothing to me whether the person may love Ayu or not. Even if the person betrays or get angry or roars to me, I can say without hesitation that I trust the person. I think it's enough to me. I wonder how you think about it. Well, in this way, Like Nidaime Ishi-san, your opinion, complaint, grievance, question, whatever is OK. Sorry, I've said "the phone number" by mistake instead of the fax number. The fax number is correct. Tokyo 03-5500-XXXX. As it's late at night now, please be careful for not pushing the wrong fax number.
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<Voices in a city>
(A man 1) Hamasaki Ayumi is cute, isn't she?
(A man 2) But she is a bit slow in mind.
(A man 1) She would be pretending so.
(A man 2) Who knows? (Laugh)
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon." Well, I'd like to read a fax message now. "To Ayu. I had long been looking forward to Ayu's appearance on "All Night." I send this fax message today because I hope Ayu will hear of my troubles. Um, what should I write first? I'm now idling away my time after graduating from senior high school, but ..." Such and such. What? Ha? Tonight I'd like you to send me fax messages and let me know what is your impressions on me, Hamasaki Ayumi, while listening to this program, but ... Sorry, I'm upset now ! Well, I'd like to talk by phone with the listners now who have sent the fax messages to me and have something to tell Ayu directly. Are you all right? Sorry. Please don't be upset. Here is the first person. Er, this is, from Namiko-san? She is writing as, "I heard you talking about Natsuki-san a little time ago, and I've come to like Ayumi-san. I'm not pretty, not good at talking with, being frank with and adapting myself to others, and cannot make a friend easily." Well, the first person. Let's phone this girl. Is this Namiko-san? The phone connected? OK, I'd like to talk with Namiko-san. Hello !
(N) Hello.
(A) Good evening.
(N) This is Namiko. Good evening.
(A) This is Ayu.
(N) Ah thanks.
(A) Thanks for your fax message.
(N) Welcome.
(A) Er, what was it? You are not good at being frank with nor adapting yourself to others, and cannot make a friend easily.
(N) Yes.
(A) Well, then, why did you write that you had heard me talking about Natsuki and come to like Ayu?
(N) Urm, Natsuki-san seems to me somehow very interesting, isn't she?
(A) Yes, she is.
(N) Aumi-san seems a little slow in mind naturally.
(A) (Laugh) Yes.
(N) And I was curious how you had become friends. Much interesting, the story of your encounter was. I'm really poor at adapting myself to others. But you really value such a strange encounter, and it was somehow interesting to me.
(A) I see. Urm, how do I say? Ayu really doesn't adapt myself to others.
(N) You mean you are living naturally?
(A) Yes, yes. So, even if I'm called to be slow in mind naturally, I don't get angry at all and really don't care. I keep my pace whoever is near. And there are some who leave me regarding Ayu as strange and difficult to talk to, while there are others who wants to talk with me because I look somehow strange.
(N) Yes.
(A) Maybe Natsuki is the type of the latter, who thought "What is she like? I want to talk with her." But whether it was Natsuki or not, if Ayu had not like to talk with, I would not have answered, maybe, as I'm such a person. It's written on this fax paper that when Namiko-san was asked to go skiing together, you told them you didn't want to go because you don't like a cold place.
(N) Yes.
(A) Ayu think it very cool to be able to say so. Ayu could not say so formerly, and might think "I have to go, too, because everyone goes", even if I didn't like a cold place. But I didn't like myself who was behaving so. Because if I think so, I cannot enjoy going to ski.
(N) Agree.
(A) And I might think I should not come. So I think it very cool to be able to say so. Though it's my personal opinion.
(N) Well, Ayumi-san can say so now?
(A) Yes, now I say so.
(N) Really?
(A) If someone I dislike is near me, Ayu say "I don't want to talk with you any more" (Laugh)
(N) (Laugh) You say so clearly?
(A) Yes. Because it's waste of my time. I like to spend my life most for myself. Don't you think so?
(N) Um, Yes.
(A) So Ayu think you don't have to do what you don't want to do and it's no problem you do what you want to do before anyone else. (Laugh)
(N) So, do you think I can make a friend without forcing myself to adapt to others?
(A) Sure. It took twenty years for Ayu to find a true friend. So I think Namiko-chan will surely be able to find a true friend in some future.
(N) Yes.
(A) So I think it's all right you stay to be yourself.
(N) If I say clearly what I think and don't oddly keep my appearances, I can make a friend with good communication. That's what you mean?
(A) Yes. Someone will surely understand you.
(N) Really? By spending time?
(A) Yes.
(N) I'll search for.
(A) Take courage.
(N) (Laugh) Thank you.
(A) And now, I'd like to deliver this song to those who are not good at communicating in words, like Ayu, like Namiko-chan.
(N) Yes.
(A) "For My Dear ..." by Hamasaki Ayumi. Please listen.
(A staff) Sorry. I prepare it now.
(A) OK. (Laugh) Well, what? Once more. "YOU" was planned to be played. But, sorry, Ayu felt like listening to "For My Dear ..." and said so. "For My Dear ..." by Hamasaki Ayumi. Please listen.
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<Voices in a city>
(A woman 1) Who likes Hamasaki Ayumi?
(A woman 2) I dislike her.
(A woman 3) Me, too.
(A woman 2) Because she calls herself "Ayu." I don't like it.
(A woman 3) Similar image as Tomo-chan. She is a copycat.
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". Another fax message has come and I'll read it. "I think it's good, Hamasaki-san's way of living. I hope you will keep on. I have mother and father, both of them I like very much. It's nicer to like people. But it's not a bad thing at all to hate someone. It's important to be like ourselves, to live naturally. I live alone now. I feel a little lonely writing this on a paper, but I feel myself not so weak. I do arbeit tomorrow, too, and say myself 'Fight !'." From Kazurinrin, nineteen years old, in Saitama Prefecture. Well, you are cool. And many listeners have sent fax messages and want to talk with Ayu. Let's connect by phone again. White Usagi-san as a pen name. You are connected. Hello.
(U) Hello.
(A) Good evening.
(U) Good evening.
(A) (Laugh) Yeah !
(U) (Laugh) Hi
(A) You are eighteen?
(U) Yes.
(A) Young.
(U) Am I young?
(A) Yes, I'm envious.
(U) But I'm only two years younger.
(A) (Laugh) What do you want to talk?
(U) Well, I'm now worried about and would like to have your advice. Er, I went to vocational school after graduating from senior high school, but I felt it was dull and quit it. I did arbeit after that but quit it, too, last week. And I don't know what to do after this. Hamasaki-san has found the job of singing songs now. I don't know how to find a job and what to do in future. Would you give me some advice to me?
(A) Ah, I see. Ayu could find songs. But I was quite similar as you. Ayu didn't even graduated from senior high school, actually dropped it out as I was fed up with it, and was idling away my time after that. And why I could find songs --- I really think we cannot do anything for ourselves. I think it's really impossible to find something and try to start something all alone. And speaking about why I could find songs --- Do you know Max Matsuura, being the producer of my works now?
(U) Yes.
(A) Do you know? I've known the man since I was sixteen.
(U) Really?
(A) Yes, I've known him for about four years. And when we went to a Karaoke house together, I was told by the man, "You are poor at singing."
(U) What?
(A) And he said to me, "Poor at singing, but you have a good voice", and "Go to take lessons." I didn't go to school nor do any jobs then. I thought it would not be bad because I had nothing to do, and I took the lessons. Ayu had always been told "Hamasaki can't do anything." before then, in the senior high school and in the junior high school. I had been told, "Don't do any unwanted things, as you can't do anything." So I didn't go to junior high school often. I barely entered a senior high school but dropped it out. But then, the man, Max Matsuura said to Ayu, "You can." I was neglected in voice trainings and dance lessons and playing hard at that time. I was thinking much of how to play. But he said to Ayu, "You can. You can write lyrics and sing songs", and "I feel something within you." It was for the first time for Ayu to meet such a person. I was never told such a thing even by my parent. I met a person who expected Ayu for the first time and I was shocked very much. And I thought I would do my best, even if the man had made a wrong guess. And as the result of my deed, I managed to come here. I'm here now because I met Max Matsuura, and after that, the present manager and the people around me, that is, the present staff around me. I think I could never do that for myself. So I think White Usagi-chan will surely have such an important encounter. It may be tomorrow, it may be ten years later. And Ayu hope you will not miss the chance.
(U) The chance will surely come some day?
(A) It will.
(U) Yes. (Laugh)
(A) Ayu think it will surely come, and surely White Usagi will not miss the chance then.
(U) Yes.
(A) So, be sure to find the chance.
(U) I keep on trying.
(A) Yes, keep on trying.
(U) Thank you.
(A) Thanks. -- Well now, please listen to a song. "Trust" by Hamasaki Ayumi.
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<Voices in a city>
(Man) I think she is cute.
(Woman) Unbelievable.
(Man) What? Isn't she cute?
(Woman) I agree she has a cute face, but doesn't she look like a typical Ko-gal?
(Man) True.
(Woman) She is green, isn't she? (Laugh)
(A) Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". Let's connect by phone again. Yukiko-chan. You are connected. Hello.
(Y) Hello.
(A) Good evening.
(Y) Good evening. How do you do?
(A) I've read your fax message.
(Y) Ah ! (Laugh)
(A) Foolish character. Yeah ! (Laugh)
(Y) Why do you call yourself Ayu?
(A) Call myself? Um, I wonder why. My parent called me Ayu and I've called myself Ayu ever since I was born. I hear I called my parent Ayu by mistake when I was very little.
(Y) Really?
(A) It's my unchanged habit.
(Y) But, I call myself watashi (I) now, though I called myself Yuki-chan when I was very little.
(A) Really? (Laugh)
(Y) Let's say "watashi". (Laugh)
(A) I sometimes call myself "watashi"
(Y) Really?
(A) Yes, when I talk with a person of very high position or with a fierce look. (Laugh) It seems I say so instinctively when I feel it may cause some trouble otherwise.
(Y) I see.
(A) I don't care myself. Because I don't think it stupid-like nor I feel ashamed to call myself Ayu. But it seems there are some who think so.
(Y) But none of my friends call themselves by their names, though I don't know why.
(A) （Laugh） Really?
(Y) Yes.
(A) I see. Have you been listening to this program from the opening?
(Y) Yes, almost.
(A) Really? how did you feel?
(Y) Well, the topic in the first part, the topic of your childhood sank deep into my heart. Though I could not understand completely, as my family is ordinary. Considering that, though I wrote "I'm disgusted with" ... (Ayu laugh) Well, now I think I might gone too far to write "I'm disgusted."
(A) I see.
(Y) Yes.
(A) I don't know, either. If there is a girl in front of me saying, "Ayu is ...", I might be disgusted with her. (Yukiko laugh) It may be that I'm not disgusted because I myself say so. I don't know. (Laugh) Thank you, though it's so late at night.
(Y) It's all right to me. Please keep on your work.
(A) So, if you can be awake till the end of this program, keep on listening please.
(Y) All right. So "watashi"...
(A) Yes, I try to say so somehow.
(Y) Could you say so once now?
(A) Thank you. Bye bye.
(Y) Yes, thanks.
(A) Well, one more person is connected. Hifumi (123) as a pen name !
(H) Hi !
(A) Am I right to read 123 as Hifumi?
(H) Yes, right.
(A) Well, Ayu has my own site and read 123 as Hifumi in my way. Are you that Hifumi?
(H) Yes, It's me.
(A) (Laugh) Good evening.
(H) Good evening.
(A) Why did you want to talk with me?
(H) Well, I've heard now that Ayu looks like stupid. And I've had a question why they think so. Er, I want to tell them that they will realize Ayu is thinking much, if they listen to Ayu's lyrics well as well as the melodies. That's why I've phoned.
(A) I see. Thank you.
(H) It's nothing.
(A staff) It's for the first time you talk with him?
(A) Er, for the first time. I always chat with him in the BBS. (Tearful voice) Sorry.
(H) What? What happened to you?
(A) Thank you. (Laugh)
(H) You are welcome.
(A) The other day, er, sorry, it's a different topic. My voice was no good at the Music Station Super Live. And Ayu had posted every day in the BBS formerly.
(H) Yes.
(A) But I had not posted at all around the time before it, as my voice had become no good. I appeared on the Music Station live program for four hours, but my voice was really bad, and I came home in very low spirits. Then I played with Mac back home and when I went to my site, I found many people had come, Hifumi, Garaben, Bero and Yoshikazu. Actually I don't know their faces, But everyone had written "Thank you" to Ayu of that day. Everyone had written that they were very glad to see Ayu is lively on TV that day, though they had been much anxious about me because I had not posted before it. Everyone had written "Thank you" to Ayu in such a condition. (Tearful voice) And Hifumi wrote there, too.
(H) Yes.
(A) And Ayu felt very glad of it. Ayu could not get the shape all right, went to the Music Station with lack of sleep and had a very bad voice. I was much reflecting that I was ashamed of myself as a professional singer. And finding everyone's words of thanks, I felt vexed and miserable, but glad at the same time, and I wept much.
(H) But Ayu sang with all your might in spite of the bad condition at that time. And I felt like saying thanks for that.
(A) Well, so. Ayu is wondering very much why I'm so moved by them, though I've never met them. I also feel it much thankful that they advise me when it's necessary. I hope we will talk together like this in future, too. (Laugh)
(H) Yes, I hope so.
(A) How old is Hifumi?
(H) Er, nineteen now.
(A) One year younger than Ayu?
(H) But we are in the same grade. I'll be twenty very soon.
(A) Ah, you were born between January 1st and April 1st. I see. (Laugh) Thank you.
(H) Welcome.
(A) You came to Shibuya the other day, didn't you?
(H) Yes.
(A) Though I mistook you as Yoshikazu.
(H) (Laugh) Can you distinguish me now?
(A) Sorry to have mistaken you as another person. Thank you.
(H) Nothing.
(A) So, Hifumi and everyone, please listen to a song, which is Ayu's favourite.
(H) OK
(A) "YOU" by Hamasaki Ayumi. Thank you.
(H) Thank you.
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<Voices in a city>
(A woman) Hamasaki Ayumi was an idol formerly.
(A man) Ah, I guess she is hiding her past.
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". Now I'd like to introduce some fax messages. From JI-kun as a pen name and a radio name. "As I'm moved by Ayu-san's lyrics, I'd like to know how you are feeling when writing lyrics." And another one is from Biminari as a radio name. "My impressions after listening to the first album. Lyrics are pretty good. Among them, "SIGNAL" is my favourite. And I like the messages very much, which are added to each song in the leaflet. I was touched by 'You alone know your wish.' or 'I cannot touch everyone. What I can do is to believe that I could communicate.' Ayu's words and songs always give me energy." Well, Ayu wrote all the sixteen lyrics of this album. I had not really thought myself that I could write lyrics. But the producer said to me, "You can write", urging me to do so, and I could manage to write them. I thank him very much now. Well, Ayu doesn't write on a paper basically. I'm always thinking in my mind. I feel scents of a city, people's movements, the air, for example, in my own way. Even if the object is the same, the scent will surely be different, depending on my mental state. And I think I'm always writing about such things. Well, Ayu is always saying lately that Ayu lives in the present time, not expecting tomorrow. Because I was the type of a person formerly who always thought "I can do them tomorrow" and idling away my time. I spent the days thinking "I can manage tomorrow", so I don't like to spend such days any more. Ayu thinks I will do what I can do now, however little things they may be, rather than what I can do tomorrow, rather than the great things I can do tomorrow. I feel now I will live in order to do them. Well, but I'm a little low-spirited lately. And I've asked Natsuki to be my home and always be with me. I feel low lately, though I should not say such words. I'm poor at telling lies, and maybe everyone has noticed it well watching TV and thought "What has happened to Ayu lately?" So I disclose it myself. Anyway, well, this is what the producer ordered me to say. Er, this album, "A Song for XX", released on Jan 1st but already in shops after Dec 26, is the classical popular song album, plain to everyone. But not in the sense it sucks. We have been doing the works we thought to be best, and it has become the most desirable. And this is basically suiting the producer's taste, but I think it very cool. That is, another double album is going to be released in the middle of March. Acoustic Orchestra side and Remix side. The double album, which I say again. And its title is "AYUMIX". Sorry. The producer decided it, too. Sorry. Please forgive for the sake of Max Matsuura. Er, the price is 3000 yen. (Laugh) I was shown a paper on which written as 3000 yen, and I've read it. Sorry. The producer is massaging himself now. Smiling now. (Laugh) This album and the first album, "A Song for XX", I think both are very good, as we did our best. And I hope everyone will see it. And, now, "A Song for XX", remixed by the producer's personal taste. Please listen.
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The information of the presents now. Among those who are listening to this "All Night Nippon" and have bought the Feb issue of "Zappy" as well, we present the original goods of me, Hamasaki Ayumi to the five persons by drawing lots. The keyword is "A Song for XX". "A Song for XX" is the title of Ayu's song. Please write down this keyword and stick the entry sheet attached to the Feb issue of "Zappy" on a post card, and send it to the editorial department of "Zappy". For the details, Please read the Feb issue of "Zappy".
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<Voices in a city>
(A man 1) That singer is putting her hand on the waist when singing.
(A man 2) I'm curious about it, too.
(A man 1) (Laugh) What is the meaning of that?
(A man 2) I guess she wants to show herself as pretty.
(A man 1) I can sing her song and mimic her. I did it when I was doing the arbeit yesterday. (Laugh)
Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". Ah, it will soon be three o'clock. (Laugh) Well, I've often been told by many people lately that Ayu is putting my hand on the waist when singing. And many people mimic me, such as some of my friends. I've never noticed the habit and I thought "Ah, it may be so" when I was told so the other day for the first time. I wonder why. Is it peculiar? Well, it will soon be three o'clock. I was at a loss what to do and much strained before the starting of this program, and I don't remember the opening part well as I talked so rapidly. What did I actually say? Well, as I repeat again, Ayu was never a girl who wanted to be a singer, who liked singing very much, who knew much about music nor who dreamed to do the work of music. Ayu had not made any efforts at all. I have to apologize for having done nothing, and really thank to the helps of the people around me. Watashi (I) think that an artist named Hamasaki Ayumi is here now only because every staff around me has much efforts. I've just said "watashi". Have you heard it? (Laugh) Well, so, I've never thought I'm great. And I always think and say that Ayu is greater than no one and no one is greater than Ayu. Even if there is a person who has a very high position, who is very rich, or who is not, Ayu never has a measure in myself to judge who is greater than me or who is not. And I hope I will always be what I'm now. And so, I'm not disgusted if someone say "She calls herself Ayu. Seems stupid." and I don't feel glad if someone think "It's not bad to do so." You can think whatever as you want to think. The motto of my life is always to be Ayu, to be like Ayu. I think as this. Well, what I want to say lastly is I thank very much to my manager, the respectful man in charge of advertisement, every staff of avex, axiv, All Night Nippon, and the manager, Max Matsuura, and among all, everyone who has been listening to Ayu's nonsensical monologue for two hours. Maybe Ayu cannot live alone after this, too, and will be supported by everyone, helped by everyone. And Ayu will repay everyone little by little by singing songs and writing lyrics. I think we will live, helping each other. Ayu keeps on working as this after this, too. Though I call myself Ayu, please overlook it. And now, lastly, this is Ayu's fifth single "Depend on you" by Hamasaki Ayumi. Please listen.
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Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". Hamasaki Ayumi's "All Night Nippon". This program was supported together by Pocca Corporation, Lotte, Hakusensha, Teikyo Science University, DHC, Kadokawa Shoten, Nihon Sekiyu, Gakken, Aichi Gakuen University, Fuji Film, Nagatanien, and broadcasted by 35 radio stations nationwide with Nippon Housou at Odaiba, Tokyo as the key station. And plenty of fax messages have arrived here. I don't know I can read them all, but I'll read. Er, from Satoshi as a pen name. "I was really charmed with you while I was listening for ten minutes in the very opening part. After listening to the frank and honest talking of Ayumi-san, the episode of the friend you trust, I thought that you have the strongest self I've ever met." Er, next, from Ayu Daisuki as a radio name. "Ayu is no stupid. I think the person who can write a very good lyrics has a pure heart." Next, from Ayu-chan Daisuki. "Listening to Ayu's talking this time, I've come to like Ayu more, Very lucky for you to have met Natsuki, isn't it?" Er, it was from Ayu-chan Daisuki-kun. Er, next. "Ayu was weeping a little time ago, saying sorry or something like that. But Ayu is not alone. Everyone likes Ayu very much. And personally I really like Ayu because Ayu is looking at yourself clearly, though Ayu is only twenty." Thank you. Er, I think it's from Hirocchi. "After listening to the story of Mommy, I listened to "A Song for XX". And I can't stop my tears drop down." Er, next, from Puu-san. "You were talking a little time ago that White Usagi-chan will have the encounter with her dear person, whether it may be tomorrow or ten years later. But I think it's Ayu-chan of tonight. Usagi-chan has met now !" Er, "To Ayu. I really thank you. The most precious thing I've got this year is that I could know a person named Hamasaki Ayumi." Thank you. Next, from Rie-chan. "After listening to the radio program, I thought you are quite an ordinary and natural girl. I hope Ayu will be as you are in the future." Next, from Nami-chan as a pen name. "You can talk ordinarily. I think it's far better for you to talk so." (Laugh) Don't forget it's a radio program and I don't see your faces. Er, next, from Punyopunyo. "It's for the first time for me to hear Hamasaki-san talk so much. Your image has changed a little to me, but it's not a bad image." Well, thank you. Next, from Tomoe-chan. "Ayu. Never cry ! Cheer up, Ayu !" (Laugh) Next, from Suzuki Takatomo-kun in Sagamihara City. "There were many incidents and I felt low today. But listening to Ayu's voice, I came to feel better. Thank you." (Sob and laugh) Ern, impossible to read all the messages. I'm sorry for the listeners whose messages I couldn't read. I think Ayu is supported by everyone like this. Many people are watching me kindly in this studio now. The listners, and many people Ayu doesn't know, whose number I can't imagine, would be watching me kindly. And Ayu would like to be the person who never forget the thankfulness to those people. Thank you very much !
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